The Merc Series

  • Ingredients:Chicken Broth, Cream of Chicken Soup, Gravy Master, Wondra or Regular Flour Bacon 2-3 slices.
  • Prepare your Turkey as desired for Roasting
  • Place 2-3 slices of bacon crisscrossed on the breast
  • Add gravy master to broth
  • Place a roasting rack into the pan
  • Place the turkey onto the rack
  • Cover and Roast as directed for size of Turkey.
  • When done strain broth in a gravy separator.
  • Bring broth to a boil.
  • Add cream of chicken soup and return to a boil.
  • Make a slurry using either Wondra or regular flour and stir into gravy mixture.
  • Continue this until the gravy is as thick as you would like it.

turkey gravy

chicken pot pie 

  • A bag or two of frozen meatballs.
  • A bottle of chili sauce.
  • Small bottle of Ketchup.
  • Small jar of jelly, either apple or grape.
  • Mix it all into the crockpot and cook on low heat for 3 to 4 hours. Less if the meatballs aren't frozen. #duh


  • Deep dish pie plate and some pie dough.
  • Parboil your chicken and potatoes, adding spice and seasoning to your tastes.
  • Layer your pie dough in the pie plate and mix in your choice of vegetables (a frozen mixed bag works too) with the chicken and potatoes.
  • Pour 2 jars of chicken gravy on top of everything.
  • Place the rest of dough to cover the top of pie plate.
  • Cook for 35 minutes at  350°f.

The secret is parchment paper on a cookie sheet and cook in oven for 20 minutes or so at 400°f.

       That’s it. Enjoy.


"Thanks for joining me today. We've got a lot to go over. We're going to start with this."

Wade turned and picked up a piece of chalk and wrote on the large chalkboard behind him.


 (rhymes with crow, deal with it people)

"I hate this guy. For starters-" Wade's cell phone started ringing.

"Hold on a second guys. Hey, what's up my cracker? Wade said, answering his phone. "Yes I'm in the middle of teaching a class right now. Cooking? Why are they here for cooking? It's a picture of a chalkboard. When you see a chalkboard we start talking about the dangers of Progressivism. What? Who wrote 'Menu' on it? No I don't need to eat a Snickers. I see. Can I at least tell them about Teddy Roosevelt and his New Nationalism? Dude had a sick mustache, but he was still a Progressive. Okay. Fine."

Wade shut off his cell phone.

"Well this is awkward. Clearly there's been some confusion here. Good thing I've always got a few tricks up my sleeve. Let's start with two things you'll love. Bacon and gravy, cause Merica. You should also invest in a KitchenAid Mixer and some Le Creuset pieces, especially red, cause it's my favorite color. Oh and you can never have too much Pyrex. I'll be sure to bring you in more recipes when I'm not busy doing mercenary stuff."  


 PS: Don't forget to keep an eye out for my cook book "How to Butter Raw Toast" coming in the next decade, until then you should totally buy  Red Diamond cause I'm in it and I'm awesome. Therefore it's awesome.