The Merc Series
The secret is parchment paper on a cookie sheet and cook in oven for 20 minutes or so at 400°f.
That’s it. Enjoy.
"Thanks for joining me today. We've got a lot to go over. We're going to start with this."
Wade turned and picked up a piece of chalk and wrote on the large chalkboard behind him.
'WOOD DROW WILL SON'
(rhymes with crow, deal with it people)
"I hate this guy. For starters-" Wade's cell phone started ringing.
"Hold on a second guys. Hey, what's up my cracker? Wade said, answering his phone. "Yes I'm in the middle of teaching a class right now. Cooking? Why are they here for cooking? It's a picture of a chalkboard. When you see a chalkboard we start talking about the dangers of Progressivism. What? Who wrote 'Menu' on it? No I don't need to eat a Snickers. I see. Can I at least tell them about Teddy Roosevelt and his New Nationalism? Dude had a sick mustache, but he was still a Progressive. Okay. Fine."
Wade shut off his cell phone.
"Well this is awkward. Clearly there's been some confusion here. Good thing I've always got a few tricks up my sleeve. Let's start with two things you'll love. Bacon and gravy, cause Merica. You should also invest in a KitchenAid Mixer and some Le Creuset pieces, especially red, cause it's my favorite color. Oh and you can never have too much Pyrex. I'll be sure to bring you in more recipes when I'm not busy doing mercenary stuff."
PS: Don't forget to keep an eye out for my cook book "How to Butter Raw Toast" coming in the next decade, until then you should totally buy Red Diamond cause I'm in it and I'm awesome. Therefore it's awesome.